Sunday, December 16, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
12-14-12
Why? Why!? Those sweet children! We could blame domestic disputes, video games, guns, mental illness...it doesn't matter. It will never make sense. A disturbed person did this. As a mother, my heart is bleeding, as a human being my heart bleeds as well, on behalf of the witnesses...I pray.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Get Into The Groove...
Going back to work after 17 years as a stay at home mom has been extremely exciting as well as challenging. When I was home full time, along with parenting, my job was to ensure that the house ran smoothly. (Who am I kidding...things were rarely “smooth” but I was pretty good at faking it.) If something was missing, I inevitably knew exactly where it was, because I most likely put it there. "Mom! Have you seen my harmonica?" "It's in the bottom drawer of the desk under the extra felt from your project!" Naturally, the kids always had chores, but keeping the house in order was my domain. I had devised a system over the years that worked fairly well. Having order made our home less chaotic, and I liked that. Needless to say, all bets were off this fall when I began working again, and I needed more than a Madonna song to get me back into the groove.
The mound of stinky sports equipment topped off with scattered dance bags, half full water bottles, combined with overflowing backpacks and straggling lunch boxes, not to mention notices from three different schools (that need to be filled out right away!!) was wearing thin on me. After weeks of ending my days feeling completely aggravated and exhausted, I realized my mistake. I was attempting to cram my old routine into less time and failing miserably. So, after thinking about it, as I baked cookies for yet another bake sale, it dawned on me that I needed to change my "system."
The first area that needed improvement was multitasking. You would think a mother of five would excel at this, but not me. I prefer to concentrate on one thing at a time and get it right, but this isn't practical for our family. Hence, I began washing the shower walls while waiting for the conditioner to condition in the morning, quizzing for spelling tests while sorting laundry and making dinner, making phone calls while supervising the kids playing outside. These steps seemed to help, but since folding laundry at soccer practice isn’t practical and peeling potatoes while driving is even more dangerous than texting, I needed to ask for more help. This was a problem because I am a terrible delegator. You see, I like things done a certain way, so it was just easier to do it myself. Nevertheless, an overwhelmed mom is no fun for anyone. I had to resist the temptation to redo the kids work and live with it.
My first attempt was when I asked my son Zachary to empty and load the dishwasher. (It was my daughter Emily's week, but she was sick.) He initially complained, "I don't mind unloading mom, but I can't stand loading it." My reply, "I can't stand scrubbing the toilets Zach, but it needs to get done." Guess what? He did it without further complaint. I confess that I did jam some more dishes in when he left the room, but I didn't rearrange his work, I promise! I also relinquished the duty of putting the groceries away to the kids. (Consequently I have no idea where anything is anymore.) Also, they each have a room to "keep clean." And believe it or not, I even have a girl that does windows...our daughter Lindsey.
I then decided our youngest needed to get into the mix. I asked Allyson (our five year old) to sweep the kitchen floor for me. (Boy was she thrilled.) I handed her the broom and went about my business. A few moments later I returned to an empty kitchen. I was initially impressed, but as I made my way deeper into the room I noticed a pile of crumbs and various samples of breakfast cereal in the center of the room. Normally I would have finished the job for her, but since I was turning over a new leaf, I called my little friend in and asked her why she didn’t finish sweeping. She innocently replied, “I did Mom, did you see all of the stuff that I found?” I gazed back into those proud blue eyes of hers and smiled as I reached for the dust pan. Note to self…be specific when asking for help.
So even though I occasionally step on an overlooked cheerio, and I have no idea where the croutons are, it's okay! Collectively, we are all into a groove of our own. As a result I am a bit more relaxed by the end of the day and am very proud of my staff of helpers.
FYI: If you have a dust allergy I recommend you call at least twenty four hours in advance before visiting us.
The mound of stinky sports equipment topped off with scattered dance bags, half full water bottles, combined with overflowing backpacks and straggling lunch boxes, not to mention notices from three different schools (that need to be filled out right away!!) was wearing thin on me. After weeks of ending my days feeling completely aggravated and exhausted, I realized my mistake. I was attempting to cram my old routine into less time and failing miserably. So, after thinking about it, as I baked cookies for yet another bake sale, it dawned on me that I needed to change my "system."
The first area that needed improvement was multitasking. You would think a mother of five would excel at this, but not me. I prefer to concentrate on one thing at a time and get it right, but this isn't practical for our family. Hence, I began washing the shower walls while waiting for the conditioner to condition in the morning, quizzing for spelling tests while sorting laundry and making dinner, making phone calls while supervising the kids playing outside. These steps seemed to help, but since folding laundry at soccer practice isn’t practical and peeling potatoes while driving is even more dangerous than texting, I needed to ask for more help. This was a problem because I am a terrible delegator. You see, I like things done a certain way, so it was just easier to do it myself. Nevertheless, an overwhelmed mom is no fun for anyone. I had to resist the temptation to redo the kids work and live with it.
My first attempt was when I asked my son Zachary to empty and load the dishwasher. (It was my daughter Emily's week, but she was sick.) He initially complained, "I don't mind unloading mom, but I can't stand loading it." My reply, "I can't stand scrubbing the toilets Zach, but it needs to get done." Guess what? He did it without further complaint. I confess that I did jam some more dishes in when he left the room, but I didn't rearrange his work, I promise! I also relinquished the duty of putting the groceries away to the kids. (Consequently I have no idea where anything is anymore.) Also, they each have a room to "keep clean." And believe it or not, I even have a girl that does windows...our daughter Lindsey.
I then decided our youngest needed to get into the mix. I asked Allyson (our five year old) to sweep the kitchen floor for me. (Boy was she thrilled.) I handed her the broom and went about my business. A few moments later I returned to an empty kitchen. I was initially impressed, but as I made my way deeper into the room I noticed a pile of crumbs and various samples of breakfast cereal in the center of the room. Normally I would have finished the job for her, but since I was turning over a new leaf, I called my little friend in and asked her why she didn’t finish sweeping. She innocently replied, “I did Mom, did you see all of the stuff that I found?” I gazed back into those proud blue eyes of hers and smiled as I reached for the dust pan. Note to self…be specific when asking for help.
So even though I occasionally step on an overlooked cheerio, and I have no idea where the croutons are, it's okay! Collectively, we are all into a groove of our own. As a result I am a bit more relaxed by the end of the day and am very proud of my staff of helpers.
FYI: If you have a dust allergy I recommend you call at least twenty four hours in advance before visiting us.
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