More Questions....

Here is a recent column that I wrote for Zachary's school newsletter...




"Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them."

Ralph Gerard






Our household is filled with children that have unique imaginations! Perhaps it originates from their dad whom as a child thought monkeys controlled cars from underground. (Yes...I knew this before I married him.) Or maybe it comes from me? I used to be convinced that the actors on TV could actually hear me when I spoke to them. (Boy, that Ginger on Gilligan's Island was such a snob!) Regardless of how they got this way, Neil and I want all five of our kids to stay this way. Even if it means being cross examined on a regular basis.

I’ll be honest, there are days when I find myself hopelessly searching for a no more question switch! And since there is no such button, I strive to find a smooth balance where I can calmly listen to my children and give them the reply they need, while at the same time carry on with all of the demands of family life. This requires patience, a basic understanding of a child's thought process, and most importantly...a sense of humor. After all, having even the cutest little sweetie pie follow you around with never ending questions could drive just about anyone batty.

Thinking back to my own childhood helps. I fondly remember day dreaming about being a mom one day. In my dreams I always had time for curious interrogations (as well as a sparkling clean house and freshly baked cookies cooling on the windowsill). Then reality happened, and in between settling disputes over who was sitting in what seat, I found myself gritting my teeth after the twentieth question about dinosaurs, or even thinking to myself: Please... I don't know why the daddy longlegs is so tall! Can't you go play with the toys that have overtaken this place! What kind of mother does this? Certainly not the one in my fantasy. That is when I take yet another step back into my past.

I am fully aware that I drove my mom crazy asking questions. But it meant the world to me when she took the time to stop and try her best to answer (or at least listen). So on days when I feel like I want to tear out my hair after constant inquiries, that is what I think of. And if that doesn't work out, I try the old distraction trick! You know the one..."Hey, wanna play Candy land?" or "Who wants gum?" This strategy usually works on the little guys until around the second grade. After that it becomes tricky, because even before they become second graders, they sometimes throw curveballs. Unfortunately for me, I am not always the greatest catcher.

"Mom, I was wondering something just then in the bathroom. Do spiders fart?" my ever so curious youngest son asked me one day. I paused a moment trying desperately not to giggle while I scrambled for the right words. "You know, I never heard a spider fart before. What a great question," I responded while clearing my throat. The what a great question trick! Lots of times this works too, or at least buys me some time to figure out the answer. On this occasion I had no real answer and somehow I didn't think they would have a Spider Fart Exhibit at the Museum of Science. Luckily for me that was the end of the conversation. But as I continued on with my day it haunted me. Do spiders fart? So I sat down at the computer and Googled it. I think this should be my new motto…When all else fails, Google it! Maybe not. But it certainly comes in handy at times like these. After all, I truly can’t picture myself asking a librarian or even Mr. Purpura (our fourth grade science teacher) this question. Oh, in case you are wondering, spiders do fart, so now you have someone to blame if you don't have a dog.

Being an inquisitive kid is really hard work, but being the parent to one (or five) can sometimes be even harder. I’ve come to terms with the fact that my house never sparkles like in my day dream, and the only thing on my windowsill at the moment is dust. However because of this, and my little tricks of the trade, there is a greater chance that one day my curious kids will remember Neil and I taking the time to at least listen to their some times unrelenting questions, even if we don’t always have the answers.




Questions parents ask that they really don't want to know the answer to...

1. How did you get your head in there?
2. Was that my favorite coffee mug?
3. What is that awful smell in the closet?
4. What are you chewing on?
5. What is the expiration date on this milk?
6. (It's really quiet) Where is the baby?
7. Why are my sneakers sticking to the kitchen floor?
8. How in the world did a footprint get up there?
9. Did you flush?
10. Who threw that?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

Here it is...this year's Christmas card picture. Every year I vow that I will be more creative and thoughtful, and
every year I break that vow. I know one vow that I am not going to break. I vow not to lose sight of the reason for the season. God Bless you all and enjoy your families and friends.

Some Good Sound Advice...

Don't feed seagulls.

Why do I say this you ask? Well, let me tell you.

Last Friday after I dropped Lindsey off at preschool, I decided to venture off to do a quick errand at Wal Mart. Zachary's school was running a warm winter clothing drive so I wanted to pick up some inexpensive hats and mittens for children who may not have any this winter. When we arrived, I parked and mindfully schlepped to the back of the van to lug out and assemble the stroller. As I unbuckled Allyson to take her out of the car, she noticed a package of crackers sticking out of the diaper bag. "Cracker?" she politely asked, "Pleeeese?" Of course I had to give her one, afterall, how do you say no to that?

"Sure sweet girl, just let me buckle you up," I replied while sitting her in the seat. As I finished, I noticed a lonely little seagull in the parking spot next to us. Thinking I was really smart, I decided to throw the top couple of crackers (that I thought may be stale) to the hungry looking thing. BIG MISTAKE! I casually tossed the crackers in his direction, then handed Ally hers.

Suddenly, out of nowhere came a big gang of smelly, loud, and aggressive seagulls! Plunging and swooping, the decoy's accomplices came after us! Their wings were huge, their calls deafening! What concerned me the most was that my sweet baby girl was holding a cracker! I instinctively slammed my car door shut so I could high tail it out of there! Just as the door shut, one of them pooped on my head with a SPLAT! Ewwww! Lucky for me (I guess) it was only on my headband. How disgusting! I whipped it off and made a break for the store. While I was in panic mode, Allyson happily munched on her snack while making "tweet tweet" sounds. Go figure?

I was still shaking ( I think I was even talking to myself ...again) when I got to the checkout line at the end of our "quick errand." When we approached the car, that little trouble maker of a seagull was still hanging out in the same spot. "Tweet tweet." chimed Allyson. "Yeah tweet tweet indeed Ally," I responded as I gave that flying rat the evil eye.

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I bet one day you will see me on an episode of When Animals Attack...


"Watch as this clueless mother feeds the savage
flying beasts some crackers, putting her defenseless
child in harms way."


If you do see me on that tv show, try not to laugh too hard as you watch me stumbling and flailing my arms like a blind drunk penguin giving directions okay?

(Does anyone else have that Flock of Seagulls (from the 80's) song stuck in their head? "And I ran I ran so far away?") LOL!

Pet Peeves

If I could chose one animal on our beautiful planet to become extinct it would be...
THE STUFFED ANIMAL.

Who is with me?

Joe the Plumber for President!

Joe is sick and tired of people talking badly about our country. He wants to chose how to "spread his wealth" himself. He is extremely proud to be an American, and now thanks to our shameless media, I know more about Joe the plumber then I do about Barack Obama. Reporters went through Joe's divorce records and his credit score! WHAT?!

What's even more shocking is that I just read that the presidential front runner wouldn't qualify to be a state trooper in our state because of his admitted drug use, his past relationships with admitted terrorists, and his refusal to release his birth certificate. Oddly, he will most likely be our next president! No thank you! I like Joe the Plumber.

You're Fired

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QBRIsCkGQ0

What a mess! Please...vote these crooks out of office. Barney Frank and Christopher Dodd, you should be ashamed of yourselves! And all of these congress people with their hands in the pot, you are a disgrace! You work FOR US so if I had my way I'd pull a Donald Trump and say, "You're Fired!"