Morning Madness

This was a little essay that I wrote for my children's school newsletter that I thought I would share. It just goes to show you that we are all human...





I can be a real grouch in the morning. Our two oldest children (as well as my poor husband) understand that I need a little time to perk up (coffee) before I can deal with the morning rush on school days. Our three youngest kids however, haven't figured this out yet. I shamefully proclaim this because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Now I sit here feeling terrible because I made Zachary (our kindergartner) feel badly. He even told me that I hurt his feelings! I gruffly apologized as he went out the door but that really doesn't count.


Since September I have established a nice routine. I feed the baby at the crack of dawn and put her back to sleep. Then I attempt to get a few more winks before I whack the snooze button a few times. That's when I carefully sneak down stairs to have a nice cup of coffee... ALONE. Making my way down the stairs undetected is sometimes a challenge. I need to literally tip toe so that our three year old Lindsey doesn't hear me. She will sleep through thunderstorms and the smoke alarm but one false move and her big blue eyes instantly pop open ready to start the day.



When I begin my descent down the stairs, I am mindful of certain steps because they creek. (Along with my toes and knees.) There is an art to going down quietly. I need to skip the third step, then move to the left on the fifth one, otherwise they creek. (On really cold mornings all bets are off...they all make noise so I just make a break for it!) The solitude is what helps me start my day off nicely. I don't even need to finish the entire mug to feel at peace with the world. I simply need a few sips while slapping lunches and snacks together before everyone comes running at me to fix their hair, find a shoe, sign a permission slip...


Obviously things didn't go according to my routine today. The baby woke up several times last night so Neil (my husband) got up first. Trying to be thoughtful, he shut off the alarm so I could sleep later. He mistakenly decided to wake me at the same time that the kids got up. Disoriented and exhausted, I made my way to the kitchen to turn the monitor on so I could listen for Allyson (the baby). Next, I lined up the lunch boxes and proceeded to sluggishly organize snacks. As I began to make the coffee, I heard Lindsey on the baby monitor loudly opening the door to our room where the baby was sleeping. Not wanting her to wake the baby, I raced up there like a crazed lunatic. But instead of stopping her, I scared the poor love and she began to cry. Neil, who was sternly eyeballing me as if I was the wicked witch of New England, quickly came to Lindsey's rescue.


Next, Zachary decided that his pants were too loose and the new sneakers that he loved so very much in the store felt too tight and he didn't want to wear either of them. At that point any alternative that I offered wasn't working and that's when I began my mini rampage. Ryan and Emmy (our two oldest children) just kept their distance and Yes Mommed me, but Zach and Lindsey were distraught. I had no patience for their complaints and no solutions to offer them either. It was My Way Or The Highway!. To be perfectly honest...I lost my cool.


I have already snuggled with Lindsey and let her know that I was sorry, but Zachary is at school and I can't talk to him until 2:00. I wish there was an "I am sorry that I am a Mean Mom" hotline at the school. If I could call, it would go something like this:


"Hi Mrs. Lynn, it's Zachary's mom calling again.


Yes I realize this is the second call I've made this week but the baby is getting teeth and well...


Anyway, could you give Zachary a message for me?


Could you tell him that I am sorry that I made him wear the pants that he doesn't like today?


Oh and would you let him know that I am not going to throw away any Pokemon cards that I
find around the house because he didn’t put them away?


Also, Mrs. Lynn, can you kindly inform him that I will buy the real Apple Cinnamon Cheerios next timeI go shopping.


One more thing...could you please tell him that I love him?


Thank you."


Since there isn't a hotline, I need to try harder to roll with the punches in the morning. I just wish 2:00 would come faster! Do you think Zach's teacher would mind if I snuck in at rest time to snuggle?